ED SOX ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFFS WITH LOSS BY TWO TOUCHDOWNS, FIELD GOAL... UNFORTUNATELY, THEY WERE PLAYING SOFTBALL
Paul Sox Unhindered by Pathetic Name, Poor Sportsmanship; Ed Sox GM, Manager on Hot-Seat

BOSTON - (EP) The Ed Sox dropped their season finale to the Paul Sox, ending their hopes of making the playoffs a fourth-straight season. While the Paul Sox brought to the game a pathetic name, they also brought some big bats, scoring 20 runs in the second and piling on in the following innings. The Ed Sox fought back valiantly, scoring in every inning, but it was not enough.

The Ed Sox battled to the final game of the season before being eliminated, finishing in ninth place, one game away from the big dance, with a 1 and 5 record. A 26 to 12 loss earlier in the season to Sunday's Excuse sealed their fate. With a win in that match, the Ed Sox would have made the playoffs.

The Ed Sox played one of the toughest schedules in the league, facing teams with a combined record of 18 and 12, of which only one team had a losing record. The Ed Sox also lost two games by one run.

Although the Ed Sox failed to make the playoffs for the first time in franchise history, the Olde Folks Team showed they were of playoff caliber, said Skipper Ed Mason.

"We did a lot of things right this season," Mason said. "Unfortunately, it didn't show up in the win column."

Mason, speaking at a post-game press conference, pointed out that this year the Ed Sox sported a high-octane offense, scoring in double-digits in all but one game.

In their loss Sunday, the Ed Sox scored in every inning. The Ed Sox sprinted to an early lead, posting one and three runs in their first two at bats. But a 3-hour, 20-run second-inning for the Paul Sox sealed the Ed Sox fate.

The Ed Sox, playing with only nine players against a nearly full Paul Sox squad, still got off to a fast start. Michael Keefe legged a lead-off double, advanced to third on a single by Teresa Wu, and scored on a Dan Stachurski single.

The Ed Sox surrendered four in the first, but came back strong in the second inning. Paul Luevano singled, and advanced to third on a Donna Barry double. Skipper Mason lined out to third. But Keefe picked up Luevano with a double, and Barry scored on a Stachurski single.

Then the Ed Sox gave up 20 runs.

In the third, Tim Farrell scored the next Ed Sox run, advancing on a double by Luevano and scoring on a sacrifice by Mason.

In the fourth, Linda Mason got the offense going with a lead off single. Farrell, Luevano, Ed Mason and Keefe all scored that inning. Down by "a lot," the Ed Sox battled in the final frame, plating four more runs. Stachurski led off with a single, followed by hits from Ted Young, and Linda Mason.

The box score shows hits and runs, but it doesn't show hustle, and the Ed Sox did their finest job yet of manufacturing runs. Throughout the game, Ed Sox baserunners took extra bases on a throw into the infield, or raced home to force a bad throw to the plate.

And while they were still vulnerable to giving up the big inning, the Ed Sox pitching and defense showed resilience this year.

The season, while exhillerating to fans and teammates, proved disappointing to Ed Sox ownership. Schaudenfraude AG, the German conglomerate that purchased the Ed Sox in the off season, is rumored to be looking to clean house and run the organization with Teutonic efficiency. There's talk that Flinty McDuff, the longtime Ed Sox general manager, could be replaced. One name in the rumor mill is the recently unemployed Theo Epstein.

Lou Pinella, the former Yankees skipper and well known hot-head, is thought to be in the running to replace Ed Mason, whose contract expires at the close of the Frostbite playoffs Nov. 20. Also, Michael Keefe, longtime Ed Sox bench coach and drill-master, has been asked to interview for the top spot. His penchant for discipline could endear him to the Ed Sox German masters.

A source familiar with the situation said that, asked what he'd bring to the field manager's job, Keefe replied: "I predict lots of laps."